Our little 3 year old princess!

Well, Christmas is in the air, which also means that our little girl is having a birthday! Kilee is officially 3 years old. So now it's time to say the line that every parent says about their children, "they grow up so fast." Always thought it was a trite cliche until God blessed us with our children and then it became so real.
Kilee is such a blessing in our lives and it is such a joy to watch her learn, laugh and grow. Everyday, she blossoms more and more into a little lady! As we watched her open her birthday present yesterday, it was so neat to see her eyes light up when she saw the dollhouse. Then, she told us, "Thank you! This is so sweet of you!" in genuine appreciation. She makes us giggle constantly with her antics, whether it's batting her eyelashes as she dances and curtsys to her own "princess song", or being a total tomboy and practicing calling in turkeys so she can go hunting with daddy! We just love her so much and we remember what a painful, yet joyful road we travelled in having her. After the ups and downs of a high-risk pregnancy and then 48+ hours of labor, to see her sweet face was miraculous! The greatest joy for us as parents, we pray, will come when she accepts Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior. Lord, please draw her to Yourself.
"Kilee Anne" means "Beautiful Gift of God." Here are some pictures of her that reflect just how special she is!

Dancing and singing on her birthday

At the pumpkin patch

What a character!

The Little Homemaker

And to contrast the previous picture . . .The Little Hunter

Our little Honeybee!

Wow, 3 months already . . .

Is it really possible that our little boy is 3 months old? I have a hard time believing it myself. We have had such a sweet past three months, full of faith challenges, emotional ups and downs and sleeplessness, but also precious moments as a family of four! The one constant through it all has been the steadfast love of God through our relationship with Jesus Christ each day. Josiah is officially through his final court date and is finally legally home forever!

Adoption is such a picture of the gospel, you all. Just as Josiah wasn't a part of our family when he was first born in this world, he was chosen to be ours, not because of anything He did, but because our love was set on him, even when he didn't know it. Now he is welcomed into our family, not as an "extra" or an "adopted child", but as a son. He is a full sharer of our inheritance. He receives a new name, our name as his own. Do you see it? Here's the analogy . . . we were once not in the family of God. We were separated from God because of our sin. All of us! The Bible tells us that no one is righteous, not one. (Romans 3:10) But God, being so rich in mercy, set His love on us -- we didn't do ANYTHING to deserve it. There is no amount of righteous acts that we could do to cancel out our sin. He CHOSE us! And if we accept his free gift of forgiveness through salvation in Jesus Christ, He welcomes us into His family. Not as an "extra" or "lesser" child, but a co-heir along with his Son, Jesus Christ! He gives us a new name and calls us His child. We are HIS! What an amazing picture of the gospel of Jesus Christ to all of us. If you have a relationship with God through His Son Jesus Christ, you are adopted! How great is the mercy of God.

"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory." Romans 8:15-17
"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit." Romans 8:1-4

Here are some more pictures of our past 3 months with our new son!

Wearing his Thanksgiving shirt

Sitting up in the Bumbo already!

A big grin before church!

INTRODUCING . . .

Josiah Scott!

Born September 8th, 2009

HOME FOREVER through the miracle of adoption!

Waiting to post . . .

As many of you know, we have recently become a family of four!!! It has been killing us not to post pics of our new little guy, but the adoption agency feels that it would be best to postpone sharing pics online until after our court date. So, all we can say is . . . pics of Josiah Scott are on the way!!! It won't be long.

Tent Camping 2009

This past weekend, we made a snap decision to spend a night out at Cedarmore as a family. In a lodge with beds and showers you ask? No. In a tent by the fishing lake. Scott and I had camped several times pre-Kilee, but never as a family of three. At first I was a little intimidated by the idea of taking a two-year-old tent camping, but it turned out to be a marvelous idea! Here are some pictures of what we did. Cedarmore, like Jonathan Creek is such a beautiful setting for camp and we just loved every minute of it.

The site

We got there around dinner time, so once we got things set up we decided to go ahead and let Kilee roast a hot dog. She didn't want to get too close to the fire!

A little bit after we got settled, Scott caught us some catfish in the Cedarmore fishing lake, filleted them, and then he and Kilee battered and fried them. Aren't they cute?

Catfish as fresh as it gets . . . does this make you hungry?

After awhile it got pretty dark and we decided to let Kilee roast some marshmallows before bed. She LOVED eating them but was a little bothered by the fact that they were somewhat brown after roasting. After that, we all snuggled into the tent and went to sleep after awhile. We were shocked that Kilee slept all night long with all of the wildlife noise in an unfamiliar place! It was great!

The next morning, we awoke to a beautiful scene on the lake. We are so blessed to be able to enjoy and work at such beautiful places like Cedarmore and Jonathan Creek.

Scott fishing

Kilee, still kind of sleepy, eating her eggs and bacon daddy made.

Cuddling in the tent!

Snug as a bug in a rug

Daddy finally broke down and put a bobber and a hook on Kilee's princess pole. (She had been casting the little rubber thing that comes with the pole up until that point.) He's teaching her how to cast in this pic.

How to reel

Pictures don't get much cuter than this one!

I got one!

Putting her finger in the blue gill's mouth to try to hold it. She got a little grossed out and didn't do it. Pretty brave, though!

We had a great time. It's so neat to be able to do things like this with Kilee now. We look forward to our next camping trip together. If it doesn't happen again this year, we'll plan one for next year for a family of four we hope!

Recent Water Adventures

Here are pictures from a couple of our recent adventures in Louisville -- the Oldham County Aquatic Center and the Zoo Splash Park. It looks like a good time, huh?

Kilee in her purple floatie

Kilee and Ellie

Swim buddies

Going down the slide at the Zoo Splash Park

Running through the sprinklers

We had a little swimsuit "mishap" and had to splash in a swim diaper the rest of the time.
It didn't stop Kilee, though!

I thought it was really sweet when she sat down and started talking to a little baby.

Getting lots of water in her face!

Our Funny Girl

Here are a few adorable things that I've witnessed our little 2 1/2 year old do and say this week:

The lyrics to the Farmer in the Dell, as sung by Kilee:

"The Farma inna Dell,"
"The Farma inna Dell,"
"Hey, wow, there we go"
"The Farma inna Dell"

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When playing a game of Memory with Kilee, she turned up a card that had a picture of a crab, but it kind of looked like a lobster, too. She looked at it funny and said, "Mom, you take the crabster."

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A conversation that I overheard Kilee and her friend Ellie having over lunch this week:

Kilee: The leaf blew and blew.
Ellie: Did it go, "whoosh?"
Kilee: No.
Ellie: Did it get stuck in the spiderweb?
Kilee: No, it blew and blew in the wind way up high and then it got stuck in the mud!
Ellie: Aww, poor leaf.

I really don't know how this conversation started, but it was pretty stinkin' cute!

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Our letter for the week was the letter "K", which was pretty special for Kilee since it's the first letter of her name. We were trying to think of things that start with the letter K. I was telling her a word that started with the letter K and she was saying it back to me. I said, "Kangaroo, Kite, Key, King . . ." and then Kilee's eyes got really big and she said, "COWBOY!" Well, she got the sound right! The English language is so confusing sometimes.

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Earlier this week, Kilee was helping me stir a marinade for our dinner. She was doing pretty well, but it was about time for me to take over. I reached for the whisk and Kilee stopped whisking, held her hand up and said, "You HAVE to be patient, mommy." :o)

6 years ago today . . .

6 years ago today, Scott Bidwell and Monica Tate were joined together in holy matrimony. Life has never been the same! God has blessed us so much in our marriage over the past 6 years as we have grown in our love for Him and for each other. We've experienced incredible ministry that we've gotten to do together, making a life together in new places, and the birth of a beautiful daughter (just to name a few incredible joys). Life hasn't been perfect, though. In fact, some of the time it's been really hard, but we know that the Lord's hand has been guiding this journey and we wouldn't have it any other way. We are so blessed to have one another, and so humbled and thankful that we serve such a mighty God. Can't wait to see what the next 6 years hold!

Our Adoption

I think for the most part the news has leaked out. Our adoption did not go through. At the last minute, the day she went into the hospital, the birthmother decided to keep her baby boy. We never saw him. It was a shock to us and to our agency, who had put in so much time and hard work trying to bring this little baby into our home. No one saw it coming. There were no signs of a problem. It is an odd, mysterious thing, but we are positive that God is not taken aback by this. Nothing in heaven or on earth happens without his foreknowledge. We cannot understand why this has happened, but we know that it doesn't make God any less holy, wonderful or loving. We pray that one day this little baby boy will enter into the kingdom through salvation in Jesus Christ and live a life that glorifies his Father in heaven. Please pray for this also!

We totally confess to you right now that we are in no way trying to sound "super-spiritual" or totally okay with what has happened. It has been completely devastating on so many levels. It makes us sick to have to tell people what happened, to pack up the baby boy clothes and to tell Kilee that her baby brother went to another home. But if this whole process were only about a perfect adoption outcome rather than a Holy God and his incredible plan, you wouldn't be able to get us out of bed today. It just isn't about us. There's no way. It has to be about Him. He can heal our hearts and He can bring us a baby in His time, which is far better. God is having to teach and reteach these things to us minute by minute right now.

As far as what the future holds, as we navigate the slow recovery of a failed adoption, we are opening up our home to whatever baby God would have come in over the next few weeks/months. We grieve this baby, but we are ready to wait for another. We are reminded that babies are not guaranteed, whether biologically, through domestic adoption, or through international adoption. They are a gift from the Lord based on his soverign wisdom and plan, as hard of a truth that is to learn. Ouch! That hurts to say out loud, but it's true.

We so appreciate all of the incredibly sweet messages and condolences. Thanks for your tender reminders that God is in control of this situation and that He still has a plan for the next baby Bidwell. We look forward to getting to be with you all when camp is over and share what God is teaching us during this time. Thank you for your prayers, wonderful family and friends. It's so great to be a part of the body of Christ.

Time to Catch Up

As you all probably have noticed, I've been a pretty sorry blogger since our move to camp! There has just been so much going on, it's been tough to find time to sit down and do this. We are having a blast at camp so far. We settled right in as soon as we arrived in the camp's welcome center apartment. We are all sharing the same room that we used last year, but it is working out just fine. Kilee has already taken up with her new camp friends and enjoys playing outside everyday. I think camp life really suits her! Scott obviously hit the ground running and has already had to travel a couple of times to our sister camp outside of Louisville to do some work. Otherwise, he's just been here doing his camp thing! He's so good at it. It's been neat to reflect on how God has shaped him as a leader over the past 6 summers of doing this. Needless to say, we pretty much think he's awesome!

Camp is starting out well. We are in our first full week of programmed camp and all 430 something campers and adults seem to be having a wonderful time! Pray that many will come to know Christ or grow deeper in their walk with Him. If you're interested in what's going on with camp this year, just follow this link to check things out!

As far as how things have been going for me personally, it's been good. A little stressful at times trying to tie up some loose ends in getting things completed with the adoption of our little one! It's hard to get all of these things done whenever the offices you're working with are in Louisville and we're here at camp 4 hours away. But God has been so gracious to allow what needs to be done to be completed, despite the inconvenience of long distances. Our agency has been so great to us. Drumroll, please . . . I think we have decided to name baby boy . . . Josiah! No clue on the middle name yet. The debate continues. Please continue to pray for our precious birthmother and baby. She is such an amazing, brave woman and words cannot describe what this gift she is giving means to our family. I can't believe that this little guy is coming next month. Crazy!

Here are a few pictures of camp life. You will LOVE them!!!

Super Kilee!

Bathing beauties!

With her Dora floatie. Thanks Nana and Papaw!

Kilee and Alivia

Balance beam at the park

Climbing the "big girl" ladder.

Playing in the dirt in her fancy clothes. Go figure.

I love this picture!

Mamaw and Great-Grandma came and brought the kids that Great-Grandma watches, Sadie and Duan. Aren't they cute? They had so much fun together.

Mamaw and Eldon got Kilee this adorable picnic table. She loves it!
Such sweet smiles.

Great-Grandma and Kilee

Ring around the rosie with Mamaw