A Change for the Bidwells

This is a heavier post than most!  We are sharing this post to let you know of an important decision that our family has made.  For the past six months, we have been praying as a couple about whether our presence in Haiti at the Baptist Haiti Mission was a permanent one, or if it were for a shorter time.  We have been helping lead the mission through a leadership transition, and things are really starting to take shape for the future.  Waiting to know the Lord’s will for us concerning our future at BHM, a couple of weeks ago Scott received an invitation to rejoin Crossings Ministries in a leadership position.  Not only was he asked to return to Crossings, but we would need to relocate by the beginning of February 2014.  After much prayer, we do believe that this is God’s will for our family.  The kids and Monica will be returning to Kentucky in a couple of weeks and Scott will be riding the missionary mail plane home with our remaining earthly possessions (lol) a week later.

 

Our leaving Baptist Haiti Mission is emotionally difficult because we are leaving friends and a ministry we have grown to love.  We are leaving under good circumstances and we have more confidence in the future of Baptist Haiti Mission than ever before.  The Lord has revealed to us that our role here was to help BHM through this time of transition for 18 months, and now there is a new field director in place.  We look forward to what God has in store for the church of Haiti as BHM continues its ministry here.  The best is yet to come!  We hope many of you continue to support the ministry of BHM as time goes on.  We certainly plan to!

We will still be updating the blog as we transition back to Kentucky.  We will be working to complete several projects at Crossings' Jonathan Creek camp location in Western Kentucky for a few months before eventually relocating and settling in Louisville.  We are excited to rejoin our Crossings family and continue on in ministry there!  It will also be wonderful to be close to family again and to so many of you.

Thank all of you so very much for your friendship, prayers and financial support as we have served here in Haiti.  Knowing that people have been standing with us as we served has meant more than we could ever convey.  If there is ever anything we can do for you or if you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask.   

The Greener Grass Conspiracy

Over the past few months I have been continually convicted about many things while here in Haiti.  One theme that seems to be recurring is my level of contentment (or lack thereof).   I find myself oscillating from reading about missionaries who gave their lives for the cause of the Gospel and then adventures of businessmen such as Steve Jobs, Sam Walton etc.  On the one hand I feel lame because I am far removed from the daily trials of potentially giving my life for the Gospel so that an unreached people group might have the opportunity to hear the good news and then on the other hand I secretly envy the life and influence that a Sam Walton or Steve Jobs has had/made on the world.  Throughout our time in Haiti I have found that a slower pace has afforded me a great opportunity to read more than I have ever before.  One of the most recent books that I read through that happen to dealing with some of the issues in which I had been struggling, is the Greener Grass Conspiracy.

The Greener Grass Conspiracy: Finding Contentment on Your Side of the Fence by Stephen Altrogge(You can find it on Kindle here.)

I have never met Stephen, however I feel like we would get along well and share in a similar struggle for contentment.  His primary premise for the book is that our contentment must and can only be found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and therefore cannot be found in our circumstances.   Stephen says that “Contentment is a disposition of the heart that freely and joyfully submits to God’s will, whatever that will may be.” In another place he nails it on the head, “Rather, contentment is inward, untouchable by circumstances, out of the reach of trouble. It can’t be stolen away by sickness or poverty, can’t be ruined by the loss of a job or house or spouse. Biblical contentment is not rooted in circumstances but in the infinitely stronger foundation of God himself.”  Taking the time to reflect on the fact that my contentment is “untouchable by circumstances” and “out of reach of trouble” has been liberating and convicting.  I have friends that are walking through recurring cancer with one of their children and as we have walked through another miscarriage and as we have said goodbye again to our family and friends returning here to Haiti just a few days ago,  I have to stop and ask myself is my contentment untouchable by circumstances?

Secondly, he makes the connection that the words that come out of our mouth are a great indicator of our level of contentment in the Gospel.  Specifically he deals with the topic of complaining.  These were a particularly difficult few chapters for me because I know that I tend to complain/vent/express my opinion (whatever it is that I call it).  He starts this chapter with a reference from Numbers 11:1 and he asks these questions…

“But what would cause God to strike down these people? They must have been engaged in a wicked pagan practice, like child sacrifice or moon worship. What wicked sin were they committing that would lead God to strike them dead? They were complaining. In Numbers 11:1 we read, ‘And the people complained in the hearing of the Lord about their misfortunes, and when the Lord heard it, his anger was kindled.’”

Ouch.  He puts front and center that God takes seriously my complaining because it reveals something that is happening in my heart.  He goes on to say…

“Complaining is like smoke. Smoke proves there’s a fire somewhere, and complaining proves that discontentment is nearby. Discontentment and complaining go hand in hand. If we’re going to kill discontentment, we need to kill complaining.”

Finally, Stephen squarely deals with complaining and its sinfulness in these two statements.

“When we complain, we’re accusing God of hating us. Of not caring for us. Of not meeting our needs and not being a good Father.”

“When we complain, we’re loudly saying that the blessings of the gospel aren’t enough.”

That last statement has caused me to take pause.  It has forced me to ask myself is the Gospel enough.  Is the fact that God sent His sinless son to die a sinners’ death on my behalf and then be raised again from the dead to be seated alongside the Father in Heaven and ultimately offering me a relationship with the Father that otherwise I could not obtain, is that enough?  Can I find my contentment in that?  I pray to that end. 

-Scott

Things Learned From a Month of Furlough

We had such a great month in the States, it's so hard to believe it's over!  It was so nice to be with family and friends and to get to experience the homeland together.  We put a ton of pictures of our visit on facebook and we'll upload a few here in a future post.  In many ways, the visit home was exactly what we had expected, and in other ways it threw some surprises our way.  In an effort to get some thoughts down, I'm just going to start typing some of these bullet-style.  Here goes. . .

-It felt so good to walk into the Miami airport and be surrounded by English signs, English speakers and American customs.  Although it was really hard to keep from accidentally speaking Creole to every black-skinned person we saw!  Awkward.

-Right away, we noticed how quiet one of  the airport restaurants was however, and we realized it was because everyone was using their phones.  It was strange not to hear more conversation!  People just aren't on their phones as much here in Haiti.

-It felt SO good to see our family right when we arrived in Nashville!  There's nothing like seeing almost all the people you've been missing at the same time!  The weeks we spent together as a family during this trip were so precious to us and we love each of you so much!

-We were blown away by the number of choices available for everything and everywhere we went!!  For example, when we go to the grocery in Haiti, we can choose apples or oranges.  When walking into Kroger in America, Josiah shouted "Mom!  Look at all the different apples!!!"  Restaurant menus were overwhelming.  I walked up to the counter and I was immediately asked, "What would you like?"  All I could say while standing slack-jawed under the gigantic menu hanging above me was, "Gosh. . .I don't know!"

-I think that we would both agree that a hot shower is the best thing on earth.  Sometimes, I personally took more than one a day.  Sorry in advance for the water bill that is coming, family!

-We had forgotten how much the kids had forgotten about American life.  Josiah had no concept of the doors that swing open by themselves when you walk into Wal-Mart.  Kilee was fascinated by commercials.  Evidently both kids had forgotten that I, their mother, ever drove them anywhere in a car before.  At different times I was asked if I "knew what I was doing" and if I should "put both of my hands on the wheel."  Which leads me to my next point. . .

-Driving was AWESOME!  To be able to go wherever you want whenever you want is something I will never take for granted.  We were so thankful to Kristin Holt and her family for letting us use her Trailblazer for the whole month!  It was a blessing that we were beyond grateful for.

-It was so great to be with our friends wherever we went.  So many of you have so faithfully prayed and given to our mission in Haiti and it was a joy to reconnect with you while we were there!

-It was also hard to be back in some of the places we visited because life has gone on and things have changed.  We totally know that life must go on, but it was strange to be in places and know that we used to live there, work there, worship there, hang out there, etc. and now we don't.  Friends have made new friends and life continues to progress.  This is a normal feeling, but was tough at times.
 
-Sadly, we went through a miscarriage (blighted ovum) right when we arrived.  We were reminded that God is in control of all situations.  Just because you are serving Him with all your heart doesn't mean you are immune to tragic events.  In fact, hardships seem to increase as we follow the Lord and share in His sufferings.  It was a comfort to be with family and friends during this time.  The kids never knew about it and so it was a blessing to just love on them and get to see them enjoy each moment.
 
-I was also reminded of how amazing the level of healthcare is in America.  I know there is a lot that seems to be wrong with the healthcare system in the States, but it could be so much worse.  It was such a blessing to have full confidence in the medical staff doing my procedure and to know that they had everything they needed to provide the standard of care that was necessary.  What a blessing we so often took for granted.

-Visiting churches was a wonderful experience!  Thank you for allowing us to come share about what the Lord is doing through Baptist Haiti Mission and thank you for being a part of it.  We enjoyed worshiping and fellowshiping with each of you!!  Your support and prayers mean so much.

-As we had anticipated, there were some things about American culture that reminded us about the "blinders" we Americans have with regard to the way most of the rest of the world lives on a daily basis.  From the commercials of the men, women and children making their endless Christmas lists to the commercials of a woman griping about her substandard dog food that doesn't have real meat in it . . .we were left with images of Haitian friends that live in abject poverty, struggling to feed their families.  It's not that poverty imputes holiness or righteousness, it doesn't at all!  People, apart from Christ, are separated from God whether they have much or little. It just gave us a sick feeling in the pit of our stomachs to know that our human desires can be so feeble as to be summed up in a commercial.  Lord, grow our desires to be for holiness and intimacy with You!

-It was also a good reminder to know what a blessed nation America is in so many ways.  It was amazing to just BE in America and experience it!  There's an emotion that sweeps over you when you return to your homeland after being an alien in a foreign land.  It's amazing.

-By the end of the third and throughout fourth and final week of our furlough, we began to notice some major changes in our kids.  They were becoming really irritable and downright weird.  It goes to show that even if your kids live a modest existence in a third world country for over a year and then you bring them back to America where they are showered with gifts, rich foods, attention and live in an inconsistent schedule, while sleeping in different beds every few days, they are going to start to act WAY abnormal.  By and large, we gave them grace, although there were a few times we were tempted to scream right back at them and then run away. lol.  If we're really honest, they were only acting out the way Scott and I felt on the inside at times.  There really can be such a thing as "too much fun" and that's when you have to return to normal life.

-So that leads us to coming back home to Haiti.  Were we ready to come back?  In some ways no and in other ways, yes.  We weren't ready to leave the relationships, the conveniences, the food and the fun, but we were ready to return to a schedule and to the work we know needs to be done here.  We missed our friends here in Haiti, too.  We're still settling in, but we have put our Christmas decorations up, I've made our lesson plans for school next week, and Scott has returned to work.  And of course we've hugged and kissed all of our Haitian friends multiple times!  We will continue to choose joy and labor on in what God has called us to do, but we also look forward to the next time we get to head to the homeland!

Leavin' on a Jetplane

A little over a week from today, we will be arriving in the United States of America after 14  months in Haiti!  Can you sense the excitement??!!  We will be on furlough for one month and we cannot wait to see all of the sweet faces we've been missing all this time.  We're also super pumped about all of the American experiences that we've either forgotten or intensely missed.  So for this post, I've decided to do the top ten things we're looking forward to on our visit to America. . .

10.  Customer service.  Let's just say it's not the nation of Haiti's strongpoint.  It often seems no one here is in a hurry to help you, and when they do work with you, you receive a facial expression that communicates feelings like "drop dead, man".  A friend here once told me that the first time she took a trip back to America, she was so completely overwhelmed by the helpfulness she experienced in a restaurant that she almost felt like she was being attacked!  I cannot wait.

9. Familiar food.  There is just not much to choose from when it comes to inexpensive food here in Haiti.  Don't get me wrong, there are some super-nice restaurants here with delectable offerings!  It's just not cheap.  We're majorly looking forward to some variety.  Chick-fil-a and Taco Bell never sounded so good.

8. Worship in English.  There's just something about worshipping in your heart language.  Even though we are functionally fluent in Creole, it is still difficult to be worshipful at church because we are constantly in comprehension-mode.  Are we tracking the sermon?  Did you get that scripture reference?  Am I understanding the words to this song?  We cannot wait to freely worship the Lord in our native tongue on this trip!

7.  Freedom to explore.  We're just looking forward to getting in a car and driving it!  We have been blessed beyond belief by a dear sister and her family as they are letting us use a car during our trip home.  It's going to be amazing to just get on the road and go. 

6. Shopping in American currency.  Going to the grocery is still a mathematical challenge here at times.  Although we know the conversion rates in our heads, it's still mentally exhausting to compare prices and buy food at the grocery store.  Everything will be in US dollars and our brains will be happy with that.

5. Visiting supporting churches.  We are incredibly thankful for all the people who have supported us this first year on the field and we look forward to giving updates about what the Lord has been doing.  We can't wait to personally thank all of you who have been praying and giving.

4. Hunting.  Let's just say it's no coincidence that our trip happens to occur right smack in the middle of deer season.  When we were planning the trip, of course we were wanting to be with family around the holidays, but it was definitely a deal-sealer that it was during hunting season.  Deer Camp 2013 here we come!

3. Just being in America.  All the expats out there, can I get an amen?  It's not that we dislike Haiti.  We love this country!  It's just that, we're American.  We know how to live in America, to function in America, to think in America.  We look forward to some time of not having to "think through" every social context and interaction and just enjoy going places and doing things we know how to do.

2. Sweet friends.  There are some precious people that we've been missing since we got here.  Just know that our hugs may be a few seconds longer than normal.

1. FAMILY!  We cannot WAIT to see our families!  I know our children's grandparents are just hopping from one foot to the other getting ready to hug their grandbabies!  And we are so excited to get to be with the people dearest to us.  We'll see you at the airport!  We'll be the ones running full speed in your direction!

The Joy of Having Children

 "Behold, children are a heritage of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward."

-Psalm 127:3

I've just been reflecting recently on what a joy our children are.  They are a miracle!  The way God brought them each into our lives is a testimony of His power and steadfastness.  Sure, they can be whiny, disobedient and draining at times, but can't we all?  I mean, so often I think I expect my kids to live with a better attitude than I happen to display consistently.  I often expect them to be little adults, and that is unfair.  Training them in the way they should go is a process with bumps and bruises along the way.  Do I have days I want to yank all my hair out and run screaming down the street?  Yep.  But, God's grace is enough for each day and He is working in my children's hearts. . .and in mine.  Our desire is for Kilee and Josiah's hearts to be His.  So, I am resolved to experience the joy of having children more intently and freely.  This is Christ at work in my heart, and He is good.

Kilee was playing house outside and I HAD to get this picture of her wearing an apron and beating a rug with a flyswatter.

Josiah posing with his digger birthday cakes.  He's just a little excited.

And my personal favorite. . .

Kilee and Josiah discover the simple joys of a whoopee cushion.  Priceless!

The Gang

One thing's for sure around here, the best hang out on the mission is the new community playground.  We get groups from orphanages, other ministries, missionary kids, and tons of people from the Fermathe community.  But if you're my kids and you play on the playground everyday, there are a handful of children that become your pals.  These special kiddos whom I'll refer to by their first initials, R, N, and S (along with my own kiddos) are the group I simply call, "The Gang."  We see them everyday and my children LOVE them!  We are getting to know about their families and their favorite things, their birthdays, their games and traditions. . .and it is SO much fun.

The monkey bars are where it's at, folks.

R is a natural born leader.  Watch out world! :)

Kilee's girls - S, R, and B

Josiah always seems to find the bigger guys to play with.  They're the only ones who can keep up with him!

An intense game of Haitian Tic-Tac-Toe, "Ti-ta-to"

This crazy boy is so much fun!  N is S's big brother.

S is so gorgeous and such a sweetheart.

Kilee is showing those monkey bars who's boss.

This playground can even wear Josiah out!

And who wouldn't love playing in this gorgeous setting?  Ahh, Haiti.

Life in Haiti and a Guy Named Gunnar

For the past 5 weeks or so, we have had a special guest in our home.  The son of friends of ours, Gunnar is a 16-year-old young man who loves Jesus, works hard and is full of energy.  We have been so blessed to spend time with him!

Gunnar came to Haiti for a sort of internship/international living/missions experience and has been working with Scott at Baptist Haiti Mission and Mountain Maid.  He has been doing office work with Scott, much-needed grunt work around the Mountain Maid greenhouses, and experiencing international living. 

We have a few new agricultural projects coming to Mountain Maid and one of Gunnar's jobs has been to pressure wash the greenhouse floor so that we can begin the projects in clean new areas.  This was a huge job, but he has done it well.  Here are some before and after shots of the greenhouse floor.

Greenhouse floor before:  12+ years of mud and moss

Greenhouse floor after: Clean and ready for new projects

Gunnar with Joel, brothers in the greenhouse arts

Gunnar's Creole language skills have really blossomed while he has been here and it is such a treat to see him speaking and interacting with new Haitian friends around the mission.  He is quite popular on the children's playground, too!  Every time he has taken Kilee and Josiah to play there, I walk by and he has about 5 or 6 Haitian kiddos hanging off of him while he's talking to their older family members.  He seems to enjoy life and missionary work in Haiti!  A few years from now, it would not surprise us at all to hear that he is working overseas.

Aside from being a tremendous help in the day-to-day business of running the mission, he has been a huge blessing to our family personally.  Our kiddos think he must have hung the moon and are always vying for the attention of "Mister Gunnar" (or if you're Josiah, it's "Mista Gunna").  Yesterday, Kilee drew a picture of our family and it had an extra person in it.  I think they've enjoyed having a big brother of sorts!

Thanks, Randy and Danna for letting us have him for a few weeks!  We do promise to send him back, but he will be greatly missed here in Haiti!