The Greener Grass Conspiracy

Over the past few months I have been continually convicted about many things while here in Haiti.  One theme that seems to be recurring is my level of contentment (or lack thereof).   I find myself oscillating from reading about missionaries who gave their lives for the cause of the Gospel and then adventures of businessmen such as Steve Jobs, Sam Walton etc.  On the one hand I feel lame because I am far removed from the daily trials of potentially giving my life for the Gospel so that an unreached people group might have the opportunity to hear the good news and then on the other hand I secretly envy the life and influence that a Sam Walton or Steve Jobs has had/made on the world.  Throughout our time in Haiti I have found that a slower pace has afforded me a great opportunity to read more than I have ever before.  One of the most recent books that I read through that happen to dealing with some of the issues in which I had been struggling, is the Greener Grass Conspiracy.

The Greener Grass Conspiracy: Finding Contentment on Your Side of the Fence by Stephen Altrogge(You can find it on Kindle here.)

I have never met Stephen, however I feel like we would get along well and share in a similar struggle for contentment.  His primary premise for the book is that our contentment must and can only be found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and therefore cannot be found in our circumstances.   Stephen says that “Contentment is a disposition of the heart that freely and joyfully submits to God’s will, whatever that will may be.” In another place he nails it on the head, “Rather, contentment is inward, untouchable by circumstances, out of the reach of trouble. It can’t be stolen away by sickness or poverty, can’t be ruined by the loss of a job or house or spouse. Biblical contentment is not rooted in circumstances but in the infinitely stronger foundation of God himself.”  Taking the time to reflect on the fact that my contentment is “untouchable by circumstances” and “out of reach of trouble” has been liberating and convicting.  I have friends that are walking through recurring cancer with one of their children and as we have walked through another miscarriage and as we have said goodbye again to our family and friends returning here to Haiti just a few days ago,  I have to stop and ask myself is my contentment untouchable by circumstances?

Secondly, he makes the connection that the words that come out of our mouth are a great indicator of our level of contentment in the Gospel.  Specifically he deals with the topic of complaining.  These were a particularly difficult few chapters for me because I know that I tend to complain/vent/express my opinion (whatever it is that I call it).  He starts this chapter with a reference from Numbers 11:1 and he asks these questions…

“But what would cause God to strike down these people? They must have been engaged in a wicked pagan practice, like child sacrifice or moon worship. What wicked sin were they committing that would lead God to strike them dead? They were complaining. In Numbers 11:1 we read, ‘And the people complained in the hearing of the Lord about their misfortunes, and when the Lord heard it, his anger was kindled.’”

Ouch.  He puts front and center that God takes seriously my complaining because it reveals something that is happening in my heart.  He goes on to say…

“Complaining is like smoke. Smoke proves there’s a fire somewhere, and complaining proves that discontentment is nearby. Discontentment and complaining go hand in hand. If we’re going to kill discontentment, we need to kill complaining.”

Finally, Stephen squarely deals with complaining and its sinfulness in these two statements.

“When we complain, we’re accusing God of hating us. Of not caring for us. Of not meeting our needs and not being a good Father.”

“When we complain, we’re loudly saying that the blessings of the gospel aren’t enough.”

That last statement has caused me to take pause.  It has forced me to ask myself is the Gospel enough.  Is the fact that God sent His sinless son to die a sinners’ death on my behalf and then be raised again from the dead to be seated alongside the Father in Heaven and ultimately offering me a relationship with the Father that otherwise I could not obtain, is that enough?  Can I find my contentment in that?  I pray to that end. 

-Scott

Things Learned From a Month of Furlough

We had such a great month in the States, it's so hard to believe it's over!  It was so nice to be with family and friends and to get to experience the homeland together.  We put a ton of pictures of our visit on facebook and we'll upload a few here in a future post.  In many ways, the visit home was exactly what we had expected, and in other ways it threw some surprises our way.  In an effort to get some thoughts down, I'm just going to start typing some of these bullet-style.  Here goes. . .

-It felt so good to walk into the Miami airport and be surrounded by English signs, English speakers and American customs.  Although it was really hard to keep from accidentally speaking Creole to every black-skinned person we saw!  Awkward.

-Right away, we noticed how quiet one of  the airport restaurants was however, and we realized it was because everyone was using their phones.  It was strange not to hear more conversation!  People just aren't on their phones as much here in Haiti.

-It felt SO good to see our family right when we arrived in Nashville!  There's nothing like seeing almost all the people you've been missing at the same time!  The weeks we spent together as a family during this trip were so precious to us and we love each of you so much!

-We were blown away by the number of choices available for everything and everywhere we went!!  For example, when we go to the grocery in Haiti, we can choose apples or oranges.  When walking into Kroger in America, Josiah shouted "Mom!  Look at all the different apples!!!"  Restaurant menus were overwhelming.  I walked up to the counter and I was immediately asked, "What would you like?"  All I could say while standing slack-jawed under the gigantic menu hanging above me was, "Gosh. . .I don't know!"

-I think that we would both agree that a hot shower is the best thing on earth.  Sometimes, I personally took more than one a day.  Sorry in advance for the water bill that is coming, family!

-We had forgotten how much the kids had forgotten about American life.  Josiah had no concept of the doors that swing open by themselves when you walk into Wal-Mart.  Kilee was fascinated by commercials.  Evidently both kids had forgotten that I, their mother, ever drove them anywhere in a car before.  At different times I was asked if I "knew what I was doing" and if I should "put both of my hands on the wheel."  Which leads me to my next point. . .

-Driving was AWESOME!  To be able to go wherever you want whenever you want is something I will never take for granted.  We were so thankful to Kristin Holt and her family for letting us use her Trailblazer for the whole month!  It was a blessing that we were beyond grateful for.

-It was so great to be with our friends wherever we went.  So many of you have so faithfully prayed and given to our mission in Haiti and it was a joy to reconnect with you while we were there!

-It was also hard to be back in some of the places we visited because life has gone on and things have changed.  We totally know that life must go on, but it was strange to be in places and know that we used to live there, work there, worship there, hang out there, etc. and now we don't.  Friends have made new friends and life continues to progress.  This is a normal feeling, but was tough at times.
 
-Sadly, we went through a miscarriage (blighted ovum) right when we arrived.  We were reminded that God is in control of all situations.  Just because you are serving Him with all your heart doesn't mean you are immune to tragic events.  In fact, hardships seem to increase as we follow the Lord and share in His sufferings.  It was a comfort to be with family and friends during this time.  The kids never knew about it and so it was a blessing to just love on them and get to see them enjoy each moment.
 
-I was also reminded of how amazing the level of healthcare is in America.  I know there is a lot that seems to be wrong with the healthcare system in the States, but it could be so much worse.  It was such a blessing to have full confidence in the medical staff doing my procedure and to know that they had everything they needed to provide the standard of care that was necessary.  What a blessing we so often took for granted.

-Visiting churches was a wonderful experience!  Thank you for allowing us to come share about what the Lord is doing through Baptist Haiti Mission and thank you for being a part of it.  We enjoyed worshiping and fellowshiping with each of you!!  Your support and prayers mean so much.

-As we had anticipated, there were some things about American culture that reminded us about the "blinders" we Americans have with regard to the way most of the rest of the world lives on a daily basis.  From the commercials of the men, women and children making their endless Christmas lists to the commercials of a woman griping about her substandard dog food that doesn't have real meat in it . . .we were left with images of Haitian friends that live in abject poverty, struggling to feed their families.  It's not that poverty imputes holiness or righteousness, it doesn't at all!  People, apart from Christ, are separated from God whether they have much or little. It just gave us a sick feeling in the pit of our stomachs to know that our human desires can be so feeble as to be summed up in a commercial.  Lord, grow our desires to be for holiness and intimacy with You!

-It was also a good reminder to know what a blessed nation America is in so many ways.  It was amazing to just BE in America and experience it!  There's an emotion that sweeps over you when you return to your homeland after being an alien in a foreign land.  It's amazing.

-By the end of the third and throughout fourth and final week of our furlough, we began to notice some major changes in our kids.  They were becoming really irritable and downright weird.  It goes to show that even if your kids live a modest existence in a third world country for over a year and then you bring them back to America where they are showered with gifts, rich foods, attention and live in an inconsistent schedule, while sleeping in different beds every few days, they are going to start to act WAY abnormal.  By and large, we gave them grace, although there were a few times we were tempted to scream right back at them and then run away. lol.  If we're really honest, they were only acting out the way Scott and I felt on the inside at times.  There really can be such a thing as "too much fun" and that's when you have to return to normal life.

-So that leads us to coming back home to Haiti.  Were we ready to come back?  In some ways no and in other ways, yes.  We weren't ready to leave the relationships, the conveniences, the food and the fun, but we were ready to return to a schedule and to the work we know needs to be done here.  We missed our friends here in Haiti, too.  We're still settling in, but we have put our Christmas decorations up, I've made our lesson plans for school next week, and Scott has returned to work.  And of course we've hugged and kissed all of our Haitian friends multiple times!  We will continue to choose joy and labor on in what God has called us to do, but we also look forward to the next time we get to head to the homeland!