I think for the most part the news has leaked out. Our adoption did not go through. At the last minute, the day she went into the hospital, the birthmother decided to keep her baby boy. We never saw him. It was a shock to us and to our agency, who had put in so much time and hard work trying to bring this little baby into our home. No one saw it coming. There were no signs of a problem. It is an odd, mysterious thing, but we are positive that God is not taken aback by this. Nothing in heaven or on earth happens without his foreknowledge. We cannot understand why this has happened, but we know that it doesn't make God any less holy, wonderful or loving. We pray that one day this little baby boy will enter into the kingdom through salvation in Jesus Christ and live a life that glorifies his Father in heaven. Please pray for this also!
We totally confess to you right now that we are in no way trying to sound "super-spiritual" or totally okay with what has happened. It has been completely devastating on so many levels. It makes us sick to have to tell people what happened, to pack up the baby boy clothes and to tell Kilee that her baby brother went to another home. But if this whole process were only about a perfect adoption outcome rather than a Holy God and his incredible plan, you wouldn't be able to get us out of bed today. It just isn't about us. There's no way. It has to be about Him. He can heal our hearts and He can bring us a baby in His time, which is far better. God is having to teach and reteach these things to us minute by minute right now.
As far as what the future holds, as we navigate the slow recovery of a failed adoption, we are opening up our home to whatever baby God would have come in over the next few weeks/months. We grieve this baby, but we are ready to wait for another. We are reminded that babies are not guaranteed, whether biologically, through domestic adoption, or through international adoption. They are a gift from the Lord based on his soverign wisdom and plan, as hard of a truth that is to learn. Ouch! That hurts to say out loud, but it's true.
We so appreciate all of the incredibly sweet messages and condolences. Thanks for your tender reminders that God is in control of this situation and that He still has a plan for the next baby Bidwell. We look forward to getting to be with you all when camp is over and share what God is teaching us during this time. Thank you for your prayers, wonderful family and friends. It's so great to be a part of the body of Christ.
