Again and again, I am just so blown away by the mercies of God. This past Friday the 28th, I took Kilee Anne to her one-year well baby appointment expecting to hear a normal report and for them to give her a couple of shots. Everything was going well until the doctor was listening to her heart said, "Hmm, she's got a little heart murmur here." She reassured me that it was probably fine, that lots of children had "innocent" heart murmurs that were of little consequence as they grow up, but she referred us to a pediatric cardiologist for a follow-up. Well, if you know me well enough, this was a huge obstacle in my constant struggle with the sin of worry!!! I anxiously made an appointment with the cardiologist for January 7th and returned home. Scott was there when I got home and I gave him the report. We talked and prayed and then, in his husbandly wisdom said, let's see if we can schedule the appointment before the end of the year. To most people this would be no big deal, but since we have a high-deductible insurance plan, this was a great idea! We only had a few dollars left before our deductible was "blown" for 2007, so her doctor's appointment/tests would be free! We called every pediatric cardiologist's office in Louisville and finally found one that could get us in on the 31st! What a financial blessing God had provided. This also turned out to be a tremendous help for me because I believe God knew that I would have a hard time waiting a week to find out about Kilee's heart murmur -- so He graciously provided "a way out" so that I could "stand up under" the temptation to go crazy worrying!
"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." 1 Corinthians 10:13
He certainly knows our frame. He bears in mind that we are dust.
Psalm 103:14
Not to say that I didn't worry over those 2.5 days, but He knows us better than we know ourselves, doesn't He?
So yesterday, Scott and I took our little girl to the cardiologist. I was constantly in a conversation with God that went something like this, "Lord, I know she's not mine -- she's yours and I trust you with her. But Lord, she's our baby! Pleeeease let her be okay! We love her so much. But Lord, we trust you. But pleeeeeeease . . .etc." You get the picture.
Over the course of about an hour, Kilee had her blood pressure taken, had an EKG done and then had an echocardiogram (an ultrasound of the heart). The doctor did hear a murmur, but a soft one which is generally good news. After he examined the echocardiogram, he concluded that the murmur was an "innocent" one in that it has no bearing on the
way her heart works, it's just an extra sound her heart makes
while it works. We were so relieved!!! God had so specifically answered our prayers from how clearly the doctor explained everything, to the way Kilee behaved during the tests, to the diagnosis! Praise Him for his incredible mercy!
We are reminded over and over again that He is in control and that we are not. As my wise husband so reminded me, we should be glad that we have no control over this situation and that God is fully in control. It is far better for Him to be in the driver's seat in His infinite wisdom even if it means that we have limited understanding of things. After all, He created all things and He holds all things together. Thank you God for continually teaching us that You are in control!
"Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you thinks that he is wise in this age, he must become foolish, so that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness before God. . ."
1 Corinthians 3:18-19a
"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9
"He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together."
Colossians 1:17