The Greener Grass Conspiracy

Over the past few months I have been continually convicted about many things while here in Haiti.  One theme that seems to be recurring is my level of contentment (or lack thereof).   I find myself oscillating from reading about missionaries who gave their lives for the cause of the Gospel and then adventures of businessmen such as Steve Jobs, Sam Walton etc.  On the one hand I feel lame because I am far removed from the daily trials of potentially giving my life for the Gospel so that an unreached people group might have the opportunity to hear the good news and then on the other hand I secretly envy the life and influence that a Sam Walton or Steve Jobs has had/made on the world.  Throughout our time in Haiti I have found that a slower pace has afforded me a great opportunity to read more than I have ever before.  One of the most recent books that I read through that happen to dealing with some of the issues in which I had been struggling, is the Greener Grass Conspiracy.

The Greener Grass Conspiracy: Finding Contentment on Your Side of the Fence by Stephen Altrogge(You can find it on Kindle here.)

I have never met Stephen, however I feel like we would get along well and share in a similar struggle for contentment.  His primary premise for the book is that our contentment must and can only be found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and therefore cannot be found in our circumstances.   Stephen says that “Contentment is a disposition of the heart that freely and joyfully submits to God’s will, whatever that will may be.” In another place he nails it on the head, “Rather, contentment is inward, untouchable by circumstances, out of the reach of trouble. It can’t be stolen away by sickness or poverty, can’t be ruined by the loss of a job or house or spouse. Biblical contentment is not rooted in circumstances but in the infinitely stronger foundation of God himself.”  Taking the time to reflect on the fact that my contentment is “untouchable by circumstances” and “out of reach of trouble” has been liberating and convicting.  I have friends that are walking through recurring cancer with one of their children and as we have walked through another miscarriage and as we have said goodbye again to our family and friends returning here to Haiti just a few days ago,  I have to stop and ask myself is my contentment untouchable by circumstances?

Secondly, he makes the connection that the words that come out of our mouth are a great indicator of our level of contentment in the Gospel.  Specifically he deals with the topic of complaining.  These were a particularly difficult few chapters for me because I know that I tend to complain/vent/express my opinion (whatever it is that I call it).  He starts this chapter with a reference from Numbers 11:1 and he asks these questions…

“But what would cause God to strike down these people? They must have been engaged in a wicked pagan practice, like child sacrifice or moon worship. What wicked sin were they committing that would lead God to strike them dead? They were complaining. In Numbers 11:1 we read, ‘And the people complained in the hearing of the Lord about their misfortunes, and when the Lord heard it, his anger was kindled.’”

Ouch.  He puts front and center that God takes seriously my complaining because it reveals something that is happening in my heart.  He goes on to say…

“Complaining is like smoke. Smoke proves there’s a fire somewhere, and complaining proves that discontentment is nearby. Discontentment and complaining go hand in hand. If we’re going to kill discontentment, we need to kill complaining.”

Finally, Stephen squarely deals with complaining and its sinfulness in these two statements.

“When we complain, we’re accusing God of hating us. Of not caring for us. Of not meeting our needs and not being a good Father.”

“When we complain, we’re loudly saying that the blessings of the gospel aren’t enough.”

That last statement has caused me to take pause.  It has forced me to ask myself is the Gospel enough.  Is the fact that God sent His sinless son to die a sinners’ death on my behalf and then be raised again from the dead to be seated alongside the Father in Heaven and ultimately offering me a relationship with the Father that otherwise I could not obtain, is that enough?  Can I find my contentment in that?  I pray to that end. 

-Scott

Things Learned From a Month of Furlough

We had such a great month in the States, it's so hard to believe it's over!  It was so nice to be with family and friends and to get to experience the homeland together.  We put a ton of pictures of our visit on facebook and we'll upload a few here in a future post.  In many ways, the visit home was exactly what we had expected, and in other ways it threw some surprises our way.  In an effort to get some thoughts down, I'm just going to start typing some of these bullet-style.  Here goes. . .

-It felt so good to walk into the Miami airport and be surrounded by English signs, English speakers and American customs.  Although it was really hard to keep from accidentally speaking Creole to every black-skinned person we saw!  Awkward.

-Right away, we noticed how quiet one of  the airport restaurants was however, and we realized it was because everyone was using their phones.  It was strange not to hear more conversation!  People just aren't on their phones as much here in Haiti.

-It felt SO good to see our family right when we arrived in Nashville!  There's nothing like seeing almost all the people you've been missing at the same time!  The weeks we spent together as a family during this trip were so precious to us and we love each of you so much!

-We were blown away by the number of choices available for everything and everywhere we went!!  For example, when we go to the grocery in Haiti, we can choose apples or oranges.  When walking into Kroger in America, Josiah shouted "Mom!  Look at all the different apples!!!"  Restaurant menus were overwhelming.  I walked up to the counter and I was immediately asked, "What would you like?"  All I could say while standing slack-jawed under the gigantic menu hanging above me was, "Gosh. . .I don't know!"

-I think that we would both agree that a hot shower is the best thing on earth.  Sometimes, I personally took more than one a day.  Sorry in advance for the water bill that is coming, family!

-We had forgotten how much the kids had forgotten about American life.  Josiah had no concept of the doors that swing open by themselves when you walk into Wal-Mart.  Kilee was fascinated by commercials.  Evidently both kids had forgotten that I, their mother, ever drove them anywhere in a car before.  At different times I was asked if I "knew what I was doing" and if I should "put both of my hands on the wheel."  Which leads me to my next point. . .

-Driving was AWESOME!  To be able to go wherever you want whenever you want is something I will never take for granted.  We were so thankful to Kristin Holt and her family for letting us use her Trailblazer for the whole month!  It was a blessing that we were beyond grateful for.

-It was so great to be with our friends wherever we went.  So many of you have so faithfully prayed and given to our mission in Haiti and it was a joy to reconnect with you while we were there!

-It was also hard to be back in some of the places we visited because life has gone on and things have changed.  We totally know that life must go on, but it was strange to be in places and know that we used to live there, work there, worship there, hang out there, etc. and now we don't.  Friends have made new friends and life continues to progress.  This is a normal feeling, but was tough at times.
 
-Sadly, we went through a miscarriage (blighted ovum) right when we arrived.  We were reminded that God is in control of all situations.  Just because you are serving Him with all your heart doesn't mean you are immune to tragic events.  In fact, hardships seem to increase as we follow the Lord and share in His sufferings.  It was a comfort to be with family and friends during this time.  The kids never knew about it and so it was a blessing to just love on them and get to see them enjoy each moment.
 
-I was also reminded of how amazing the level of healthcare is in America.  I know there is a lot that seems to be wrong with the healthcare system in the States, but it could be so much worse.  It was such a blessing to have full confidence in the medical staff doing my procedure and to know that they had everything they needed to provide the standard of care that was necessary.  What a blessing we so often took for granted.

-Visiting churches was a wonderful experience!  Thank you for allowing us to come share about what the Lord is doing through Baptist Haiti Mission and thank you for being a part of it.  We enjoyed worshiping and fellowshiping with each of you!!  Your support and prayers mean so much.

-As we had anticipated, there were some things about American culture that reminded us about the "blinders" we Americans have with regard to the way most of the rest of the world lives on a daily basis.  From the commercials of the men, women and children making their endless Christmas lists to the commercials of a woman griping about her substandard dog food that doesn't have real meat in it . . .we were left with images of Haitian friends that live in abject poverty, struggling to feed their families.  It's not that poverty imputes holiness or righteousness, it doesn't at all!  People, apart from Christ, are separated from God whether they have much or little. It just gave us a sick feeling in the pit of our stomachs to know that our human desires can be so feeble as to be summed up in a commercial.  Lord, grow our desires to be for holiness and intimacy with You!

-It was also a good reminder to know what a blessed nation America is in so many ways.  It was amazing to just BE in America and experience it!  There's an emotion that sweeps over you when you return to your homeland after being an alien in a foreign land.  It's amazing.

-By the end of the third and throughout fourth and final week of our furlough, we began to notice some major changes in our kids.  They were becoming really irritable and downright weird.  It goes to show that even if your kids live a modest existence in a third world country for over a year and then you bring them back to America where they are showered with gifts, rich foods, attention and live in an inconsistent schedule, while sleeping in different beds every few days, they are going to start to act WAY abnormal.  By and large, we gave them grace, although there were a few times we were tempted to scream right back at them and then run away. lol.  If we're really honest, they were only acting out the way Scott and I felt on the inside at times.  There really can be such a thing as "too much fun" and that's when you have to return to normal life.

-So that leads us to coming back home to Haiti.  Were we ready to come back?  In some ways no and in other ways, yes.  We weren't ready to leave the relationships, the conveniences, the food and the fun, but we were ready to return to a schedule and to the work we know needs to be done here.  We missed our friends here in Haiti, too.  We're still settling in, but we have put our Christmas decorations up, I've made our lesson plans for school next week, and Scott has returned to work.  And of course we've hugged and kissed all of our Haitian friends multiple times!  We will continue to choose joy and labor on in what God has called us to do, but we also look forward to the next time we get to head to the homeland!

Leavin' on a Jetplane

A little over a week from today, we will be arriving in the United States of America after 14  months in Haiti!  Can you sense the excitement??!!  We will be on furlough for one month and we cannot wait to see all of the sweet faces we've been missing all this time.  We're also super pumped about all of the American experiences that we've either forgotten or intensely missed.  So for this post, I've decided to do the top ten things we're looking forward to on our visit to America. . .

10.  Customer service.  Let's just say it's not the nation of Haiti's strongpoint.  It often seems no one here is in a hurry to help you, and when they do work with you, you receive a facial expression that communicates feelings like "drop dead, man".  A friend here once told me that the first time she took a trip back to America, she was so completely overwhelmed by the helpfulness she experienced in a restaurant that she almost felt like she was being attacked!  I cannot wait.

9. Familiar food.  There is just not much to choose from when it comes to inexpensive food here in Haiti.  Don't get me wrong, there are some super-nice restaurants here with delectable offerings!  It's just not cheap.  We're majorly looking forward to some variety.  Chick-fil-a and Taco Bell never sounded so good.

8. Worship in English.  There's just something about worshipping in your heart language.  Even though we are functionally fluent in Creole, it is still difficult to be worshipful at church because we are constantly in comprehension-mode.  Are we tracking the sermon?  Did you get that scripture reference?  Am I understanding the words to this song?  We cannot wait to freely worship the Lord in our native tongue on this trip!

7.  Freedom to explore.  We're just looking forward to getting in a car and driving it!  We have been blessed beyond belief by a dear sister and her family as they are letting us use a car during our trip home.  It's going to be amazing to just get on the road and go. 

6. Shopping in American currency.  Going to the grocery is still a mathematical challenge here at times.  Although we know the conversion rates in our heads, it's still mentally exhausting to compare prices and buy food at the grocery store.  Everything will be in US dollars and our brains will be happy with that.

5. Visiting supporting churches.  We are incredibly thankful for all the people who have supported us this first year on the field and we look forward to giving updates about what the Lord has been doing.  We can't wait to personally thank all of you who have been praying and giving.

4. Hunting.  Let's just say it's no coincidence that our trip happens to occur right smack in the middle of deer season.  When we were planning the trip, of course we were wanting to be with family around the holidays, but it was definitely a deal-sealer that it was during hunting season.  Deer Camp 2013 here we come!

3. Just being in America.  All the expats out there, can I get an amen?  It's not that we dislike Haiti.  We love this country!  It's just that, we're American.  We know how to live in America, to function in America, to think in America.  We look forward to some time of not having to "think through" every social context and interaction and just enjoy going places and doing things we know how to do.

2. Sweet friends.  There are some precious people that we've been missing since we got here.  Just know that our hugs may be a few seconds longer than normal.

1. FAMILY!  We cannot WAIT to see our families!  I know our children's grandparents are just hopping from one foot to the other getting ready to hug their grandbabies!  And we are so excited to get to be with the people dearest to us.  We'll see you at the airport!  We'll be the ones running full speed in your direction!

The Joy of Having Children

 "Behold, children are a heritage of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward."

-Psalm 127:3

I've just been reflecting recently on what a joy our children are.  They are a miracle!  The way God brought them each into our lives is a testimony of His power and steadfastness.  Sure, they can be whiny, disobedient and draining at times, but can't we all?  I mean, so often I think I expect my kids to live with a better attitude than I happen to display consistently.  I often expect them to be little adults, and that is unfair.  Training them in the way they should go is a process with bumps and bruises along the way.  Do I have days I want to yank all my hair out and run screaming down the street?  Yep.  But, God's grace is enough for each day and He is working in my children's hearts. . .and in mine.  Our desire is for Kilee and Josiah's hearts to be His.  So, I am resolved to experience the joy of having children more intently and freely.  This is Christ at work in my heart, and He is good.

Kilee was playing house outside and I HAD to get this picture of her wearing an apron and beating a rug with a flyswatter.

Josiah posing with his digger birthday cakes.  He's just a little excited.

And my personal favorite. . .

Kilee and Josiah discover the simple joys of a whoopee cushion.  Priceless!

The Gang

One thing's for sure around here, the best hang out on the mission is the new community playground.  We get groups from orphanages, other ministries, missionary kids, and tons of people from the Fermathe community.  But if you're my kids and you play on the playground everyday, there are a handful of children that become your pals.  These special kiddos whom I'll refer to by their first initials, R, N, and S (along with my own kiddos) are the group I simply call, "The Gang."  We see them everyday and my children LOVE them!  We are getting to know about their families and their favorite things, their birthdays, their games and traditions. . .and it is SO much fun.

The monkey bars are where it's at, folks.

R is a natural born leader.  Watch out world! :)

Kilee's girls - S, R, and B

Josiah always seems to find the bigger guys to play with.  They're the only ones who can keep up with him!

An intense game of Haitian Tic-Tac-Toe, "Ti-ta-to"

This crazy boy is so much fun!  N is S's big brother.

S is so gorgeous and such a sweetheart.

Kilee is showing those monkey bars who's boss.

This playground can even wear Josiah out!

And who wouldn't love playing in this gorgeous setting?  Ahh, Haiti.

Life in Haiti and a Guy Named Gunnar

For the past 5 weeks or so, we have had a special guest in our home.  The son of friends of ours, Gunnar is a 16-year-old young man who loves Jesus, works hard and is full of energy.  We have been so blessed to spend time with him!

Gunnar came to Haiti for a sort of internship/international living/missions experience and has been working with Scott at Baptist Haiti Mission and Mountain Maid.  He has been doing office work with Scott, much-needed grunt work around the Mountain Maid greenhouses, and experiencing international living. 

We have a few new agricultural projects coming to Mountain Maid and one of Gunnar's jobs has been to pressure wash the greenhouse floor so that we can begin the projects in clean new areas.  This was a huge job, but he has done it well.  Here are some before and after shots of the greenhouse floor.

Greenhouse floor before:  12+ years of mud and moss

Greenhouse floor after: Clean and ready for new projects

Gunnar with Joel, brothers in the greenhouse arts

Gunnar's Creole language skills have really blossomed while he has been here and it is such a treat to see him speaking and interacting with new Haitian friends around the mission.  He is quite popular on the children's playground, too!  Every time he has taken Kilee and Josiah to play there, I walk by and he has about 5 or 6 Haitian kiddos hanging off of him while he's talking to their older family members.  He seems to enjoy life and missionary work in Haiti!  A few years from now, it would not surprise us at all to hear that he is working overseas.

Aside from being a tremendous help in the day-to-day business of running the mission, he has been a huge blessing to our family personally.  Our kiddos think he must have hung the moon and are always vying for the attention of "Mister Gunnar" (or if you're Josiah, it's "Mista Gunna").  Yesterday, Kilee drew a picture of our family and it had an extra person in it.  I think they've enjoyed having a big brother of sorts!

Thanks, Randy and Danna for letting us have him for a few weeks!  We do promise to send him back, but he will be greatly missed here in Haiti!

Haitian Homemaking 101

Have I mentioned in previous posts how much I love our sweet Madam Ruth?  For those of you who haven't "met" her yet, Madam Ruth is the sweet Haitian woman who works part-time in our home.  She is an incredible homemaker and regularly shares her expertise with us.  Thanks to her culinary instruction, I can now make a Haitian pate (meat pie) with bannann peze and akra on the side!

And it's not just her mad-cooking-skills she shares with us either!  With our upcoming trip to the States, she was worried that the kids would get cold because she has heard us talk about snow and ice in the winter months in Kentucky.  So, in only 3 hours, she whipped-out 2 adorable crocheted hats from some craft yarn in our closet!  The kids love them and Kilee and I are now learning how to crochet with "Madam" (as the kids call her).  Kilee and she have since made a matching hat for Kilee's favorite doll.

But most importantly, Madam Ruth shares fellowship and love with our family.  She loves the Lord and it is a joy to have her in our home each week.  Sure, she's an awesome homemaker.  But she's also a sweet sister in Christ.

Ann Ale Lekol (Let's go to school!)

Well, we are entering our 3rd week of home school and things are going pretty well!  Josiah has not yet started going to preschool here at the mission because the first day of school was recently pushed back to October 1st nationwide.  Kilee is diving into 1st grade and seems to be enjoying it so far!  We are using My Father's World curriculum for Bible, History, English/Reading, and the Arts.  For math, we are using Horizons and so far I like all of it!  Since Josiah is only going to be at the preschool a couple of days each week, I am going to work with him on his letters, numbers, shapes and colors in English so that we don't lose ground in our native tongue.

Several of you have asked what our typical schedule is for a homeschool day here on the field.  It's probably not much different from yours!  Here's a little example:

7 am - Everyone up, Kilee and Josiah clean their room, breakfast, get dressed

8 am - I finish getting myself ready, Kilee and Josiah watch cartoons

8:30 am - On preschool days, I walk Josiah to school while Kilee gets started with English.  On non-preschool days, I get out an activity for Josiah (blocks, lacing cards, etc.) with I get Kilee started with English.

9 am - Madam Ruth arrives at the house to work.  We do Bible, History and Science together.  Josiah hangs with us during this time.

9:45 am - Snack

10 am - Go to the mission playground.  All the neighborhood kids are here and we LOVE to play!  Kilee and Josiah's Creole language skills totally rock.  It is SO fun to watch!

11 am - Head back to the house.  A little friend of Kilee's comes for a piano lesson.

11:30 am - Kilee has her piano lesson next.

Noon - Eat lunch with Madam Ruth.

1 pm - Read books and put Josiah down for his nap.

1:30 pm - Math and Read alouds with Kilee.

2:00 pm - Kilee does art, piano or helps with work around the house.  I work with Kilee off-and-on and do a short English lesson with Madam Ruth.

3:00 pm - Josiah's up, Madam Ruth is finished with her work and heads home.  Our school day is finished!

Believe me, this is the framework we have set up but it doesn't always go this way.  In fact, most days we have something come up and change the schedule somewhat.  Flexibility seems to be a lesson the Lord always wants us to learn!

A Look Back

This past week marked our first "Haiti-versary!"

This week as we have looked back over the last year it has been difficult to believe that an entire year ago we were packing up our belongings and saying goodbye to family and friends.   For sure, there have been bumps and bruises along the way, however the Lord has grown us in ways that would most likely have not been possible otherwise.   As we have looked back there have been a number of things that we have learned (some the hard way) and we decided to share them here.

Driving in Haiti. A friend of mine made an accurate statement, “Driving in Haiti is much like the Biblical time of the Judges… ‘Everyone does what is right in their own eyes.’”  I will try my best to avoid driving on sidewalks, shoulders and making 3-wide NASCAR moves when we visit the states in November.

People are People Regardless of Geographical Location.  One of the most surprising things that we have found is that, for better or for worse,whether your skin is brown and you happen to speak Creole or if your skin is white and you happen to speak English, each of us has the capacity to demonstrate the grace of God through kind words or a patient ear and also each of us has the tendency toward the ever present struggle with pride.  Whether you are a poor Haitian subsistence farmer or an American with money . . . we are equally sinful and desperately dependent on the mercy of God.

Worship is more than a song.   While I have believed for some time that worship is a lifestyle, it became even more real this year when we were forced to sit in a church pew each week struggling to understand the language.   The worship that I give to the Lord Jesus must be more than a song.

Slowing down is a good thing.  In many ways this year has been a slow-down for me personally and for our family.  Slowing down has allowed us to have more time together as a family and more time to do some of the things we have always wanted to do.   I would be lying if I said that slowing down isn’t a struggle.   In a sense I enjoy the corporate-feeling, fast-paced life, however I am learning day-by-day to enjoy the slower pace and the extra time with Monica and the kids and our friends.

Contentment is hard.  The Lord is calling each of us to a level of contentment in Him and in our circumstances that can only be brought about through the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.  Throughout this year we have struggled with contentment on a daily basis.  We are learning to live without the things that were normal for us in the states.  There are many things we still find difficult though.   We miss regular visits with family and friends, everyday American conveniences, familiar food, having our own vehicles, favorite pastimes, etc.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”  On the heels of the previous point "Contentment is hard," this verse has been an ever-present reminder of the will of God in my life.  Let's be honest, “rejoicing always” and “giving thanks in all circumstances” are not easy things, or at least they aren’t for me.  Many times I think I am probably more characterized by “Complain always” or “Gripe in all circumstances.”  It is convicting.

Relationships are key.  God designed humans to function in relationship with one another.   One thing that we learned early-on here in Haiti is that relationships are life.  Something as simple as forgetting to tell someone good morning (Bonjou) is seen as rude and hateful.  Haitians seem to value relationships more than Americans in many ways.   This affects nearly every aspect of life and work.  If someone in church has a need, people give money to help because they know that they will have a future need and others will rise to help them.  They can't just go to the bank to get a loan if they have a problem, relationships are their credit. Our friend and fellow missionary Chelsea illustrates the beauty of relationships through one of her recent blog posts.

Negotiation is normal in Haitian culture.  Most people would think of bartering in terms of buying a souvenir or painting from a vendor along the side of the road.  However we have found that this bartering is applied to nearly every other aspect of life as well.  For example, in the states you wouldn’t dream of coming into your boss’s office and asking him or her for more money and then when he gives you a figure you say "no way that’s not enough, I need this amount".  Many Haitians have no problem talking about money or the fact that you should give them more.   In a sense it resembles entitlement, but in another sense it is bartering.  Since you can see that bartering is the norm, it's not hard to imagine that some people do not stop with just the physical but also carry it over into the spiritual realm.  Bartering brings about severe conflict with concepts such as salvation by grace through faith (Eph 2:8-9).  Good theology is key.

Trust is a commodity.  It is a paradox that relationships are key and that trust is usually in short-supply.  A good friend of mine always says that “Trust is the foundation of all relationships” and I believe this to be true.  However it is interesting to me that while relationships are valued so highly in Haitian culture, precious little trust is extended in most interactions.  From reading about the history of Haiti, I believe their general lack of trust stems from the numerous civil rebellions and hardships that the Haitian people have endured from their own people since its inception.  Often times I have observed that Haitians give more trust to expats than to other Haitians.

The Gospel is the Gospel is the Gospel.  Before coming to Haiti I knew this to be true, however I now see this in a completely different light.  Yesterday we had the opportunity to have a local Haiti pastor come to speak with our staff and local artisans at Mountain Maid about the Gospel.  As he went through his Gospel presentation I was struck by how amazing it was to hear (and understand!) the Gospel in another language and in another culture.  He spoke in simple Creole (he is also fluent in French) and used simple illustrations about cell phones and bank robberies (both are extremely common here) to communicate the simple truths of the Gospel.  You could tell that his message was connecting with each listener.  I am extremely grateful that we have the opportunity to be a part of the seeing the Gospel being proclaimed to the ends of the earth and I look forward to that day when people will be drawn together from every nation, tribe, people and language to worship the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords (Rev 7).

It wasn't that long ago that we were loading up the container to move!

10 Years!

Scott & Monica Bidwell

August 9th, 2003

Kentucky Tradition, With a Side of Haiti

One of the things we miss most about not being in our old Kentucky home is not being able to do the same sort of activities with our kids as our parents did with us.  We miss lakeside campouts, hunting trips and the like.  Our kids are getting a TON of experiences we never had by living in another country, which is awesome in itself!  But not long ago, we decided we just had to recreate some of our childhood Kentucky fun in the form of a campout.  Check it out!

Setting up.  Thanks for loaning the tent, Bakers!

"I can't believe we get to sleep outside!"

It wasn't a far walk from our house down to the tent.

Starting our palm leaf fire.  There's not a lot of wood to be had around here!

Pile on Mommy!

In our jammies and ready to roast some marshmallows and hot dogs.  We even tried hunting Haitian fireflies!  They're faster and smaller than KY ones.

We had so much fun!

Family pic before bedtime.  And bedtime that night merely meant lying horizontally and continuously moving children off of us.  There was no sleep.  At all.  :)

Not long after our camping experience, our friend Mr. Andy from Mountain Maid came by the house with some cane poles and asked if the kiddos wanted to go fishing down at the old tilapia pond.  Of course, the answer was, "Woo-hoo!  Let's go right now!"   We caught a ton of fish, including 2 koi fish we found out we weren't supposed to catch. Whoops!  It was strictly catch-and-release and we are happy to report all fish are alive and well. :)

Kilee with her first catch.

Josiah and Mr. Andy showing off his catch!

After the two koi fish, we just caught baby tilapia.  They're too small to eat, but fun to catch!

The Worst Missionary Ever?

On some of my less-than-stellar days when I have felt grouchy, unproductive and less-than-happy about living overseas, I sarcastically say to Scott, "I must be the worst missionary ever."  I'm only half-joking though.  After all, I've read the missionary biographies about the women trekking through the jungle, contracting life-threatening diseases with their hearts set on the sole purpose of sharing Christ with new tribes at any cost.  And here I am in the comfort of a concrete home with running water, chasing my two kids and I find myself growing bitter about the situation.  Hmm.

Of course Scott and I have the same goal as the pioneer missionaries of sharing Christ and seeing the discipleship of His church,
and we work toward that end each day.  But I also have thoughts and desires like, "I wish I had a car so I could get off campus more often.  I would love to stroll through a shopping mall today with some girlfriends. I wish my kids could play t-ball and soccer.  And last but definitely not least, I would give anything to eat some Chick-Fil-A today!"  Am I being normal or a total lightweight when it comes to serving overseas?  If the great missionary women of yore shared some of my longings, it certainly isn't in any of the biographies/autobiographies I've read.  But they were human women, right?  I'm sure they had desires like mine, didn't they?

To a certain extent, I do think my desires and longings are normal and legit.  After all, they aren't sinful, bad things in and of themselves.  But the problem I've had here lately is that these thought patterns have become so frequent that they have led me into a state of discontentment with life.  I have continually been fixing my heart and mind on things I cannot have right now. . .and that's sinful.  In a sense, I am taking what I miss, my American way of life (a good thing in and of itself) and exalting it to a place of undue honor and value.  It's a mis-focusing of my affections.  After confessing some of these things to a friend of mine, she lovingly said something to me in an email that knocked the wind out of me.  She said, "Monica, recognize that all of these emotions and desires are normal. Yet if we choose to remain in bitter, angry, discontented emotions then we are telling The Lord that we don't trust His plan."  Ouch.  The last thing in the world I would ever want to say to my Savior is that I don't trust His plan for me.  And right now, like it or not, His plan for me is spelled H-a-i-t-i.

Clearly, we are called by God to be right where we are, and in the face of discontentment, God wants me to humble myself and say "I choose faithfulness." And in this particular time in my life, it can be translated "I choose Haiti."  Not just once-for-all, but everyday . . .and on days like today, every minute.  And the best part of it is, I don't have to conjure up my own effort and know-how to choose faithfulness.  He will give me the grace to do it!  It will not be easy, but it is possible.  And there will be joy.

So, am I the worst missionary ever?  HA.  Maybe. Who cares?  One thing I do know - I do choose to live a life surrendered to Jesus that glorifies my Father in heaven, wherever I happen to be.  And I also know that after our plane touches down on our first furlough this November, you can bet we'll be making a beeline to the nearest Chick-Fil-A. ;)

Mission Life in the Summer

Before we know it, July will be gone.  The hazy days of summer have been anything but lazy, though.  Things have been as busy as ever here at the mission! 

The huge new Noah's Ark playground that was built by Gassaway Baptist Church of West Virginia has been a huge hit!  The "yard" as people call the common area on the mission has been in need of some kids' playground equipment for a long time.  Our mission is open to the community every day until 5pm and the children of Fermathe needed a place to go!  We are so thankful to the people of GBC for building such a fantastic complex.  And believe me when I say that the Bidwell kids are super excited about this new feature as well. Within the first week, one man had brought his son and started asking spiritual questions to the GBC team.  Before long, he decided to become a Christ-follower and is being connected with a local church!  Another group of nationals from the Fermathe church have decided to lead Bible-teaching times, games and singing each Saturday for the children that come to play. Several others are volunteering to "hang out" at the playground and build relationships with their friends and neighbors and share Christ with them.  It's the church at work! 

Students gather for the opening session

Another thing that is happening here on the mission is Summer Bible Institute (SBI).  Over 80 Haitian students are living here for 8 weeks to study the Bible, Family and Children's Ministry, Biblical Leadership, Old and New Testament, geography, Hermeneutics and more.  It is a four-summer sequential program and several of our friends in the area are graduating and receiving their certificate at the end of this summer!  It is a huge accomplishment and we are proud for them.  It's a joy to get to know them while they are here on campus with us.  Most are already leaders in their churches and communities and utilize the training they receive just as soon as they return home.

The Lemonade stand.  Is it sour, Rebekah? :)

July also treated us to a visit from our friends who live up in northwest Haiti who are building a satellite campus of BHM in Atrel.  My kids were ecstatic to see their friends Naomi, Jonathan, Rebekah, Robert and Anna.  Each day the girls created an itinerary of sorts.  9:00-play, 10:00-snack, 11:00-play again, 12:00-lunch, 1:00-watch a movie, etc.  It was SO cute.  One of the activities they regularly scheduled was running a lemonade stand.  They posted signs all over the mission to invite people to their stand and even made thank you notes for the ones who came by.  The lemonade was free, but a few of our friends gave them tips anyway. :)

We are currently planning our first trip back to the States as a family in November!  We look forward to seeing as many of you all as possible while were are there.  We plan to visit our supporting churches, family and friends. . . and maybe a little deer hunting, right Melbers?  It may only be July, but November will be here before we know it!

Third Culture Kids

What is a third culture kid?  By definition,

“A third culture kid is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside their parents’ culture."

Kilee with friends Ruthnadine and Gloria

I'm not sure exactly what constitutes a "significant part", but I'm thinking my kids fit the bill.  Sociologist Ruth Hill Useem coined the term "Third Culture Kids" after spending a year on two separate occasions in India with her three children, in the early fifties. Initially they used the term "third culture" to refer to the process of learning how to relate to another culture;  in time they started to refer to children who accompany their parents into a different culture as "Third Culture Kids." Useem used the term "Third Culture Kids" because TCKs integrate aspects of their birth culture (the first culture) and the new culture (the second culture), creating a unique "third culture" According to tckid.com, you know you're a third culture kid when. . .

-“Where are you from?” has more than one reasonable answer.

-You have a passport but no driver’s license
-You don’t know whether to write the date as day/month/year, month/day/year, or some variation thereof.
-You believe vehemently that football is played with a round, spotted ball.
-Your good friends have names that sound drastically phonetically different than yours.
-You feel odd being in the ethnic majority.

and a couple of original ones from Haiti. . .

Josiah and his little buddy Colinn playing "Moto"

-Your 6 and 3-year-old kids ask how much longer the generator will be on before starting a movie.
-You find yourself looking in the back seat of your car, not to see if your children are properly secured in their 5-point harnesses, but to see if they're wrestling on the floor of the truck.
-Your 6-year-old warns your 3-year-old to put his shoes on or he'll get worms.
-You can't have secret mom-dad conversations in Creole anymore because your kids now understand the host language.

Kilee and Madam Ruth dressed to the nines to attend a wedding of one of Ruth's relatives.

Attending a Story Hour with other third culture kiddos.

A Jewelry Party of Their Own

As many of you probably know, Mountain Maid sells a line of jewelry handcrafted by ladies in several area churches that are supported by Baptist Haiti Mission.  If you didn't already know that, you should check it out here!  It really is beautiful jewelry made from recycled cereal boxes, intricately cut and rolled into vibrant beads.

Many people in our communities "back home" in the States are enjoying the jewelry first because we have sent it to our families and friends to get the word out about this ministry.  Several of these special women have hosted jewelry parties and/or take orders for Mountain Maid jewelry and enjoy sporting the pieces themselves!

Colleen is a sweet friend of mine from high school and is one of the aforementioned friends that supports the Mountain Maid jewelry project on the home front. Well, she decided she wanted to bless our artisan ladies at Mountain Maid by sending some fun jewelry pieces she had owned so that we could have a little jewelry party of our own!  The ladies were so surprised and LOVED it!  I took some pictures as they chose their jewelry from the bag.  We did this with all the ladies that make jewelry on different mornings of the week, but these pics are only of the first group's "party".  It doesn't matter where in the world you live, women love fellowship, doing girly things, and laughing together!  Thanks for your thoughtful idea, Colleen!

Picking a piece

Beatrice gets a necklace!

Bernadette's necklace matches the dress she has on.

Luis seems pretty happy with what she picked.

Jewelry party group pic (Kettia, Bernadette, Yoslen, Anite, Luis).